It kills me that you had others since I'm gone. I mean, I also fucked other guys, but I didn't love them.

How can you say we were best friends? Best friends don't fuck each other you dickhead

I'm so lonely

I'm so lonely

I want to know if you still think of me

I wish I could say missing you has high tides and low tides, but sadly, I'm underwater all the time.
I wish I could say I'm drowning, but you have to be alive to die.
I wish I could say I'm alive, but I died a long time ago.

I can't handle it anymore.

The problem is that I look through old pictures and don't think about the fun I had while taking them, I think stupid things like "you called me from school 10 minutes later" "you picked me up from the trainstation that day" "you drove by when I finished that meal" "when I got drunk that evening we texted" "when I told you about the thing that happened after this picture you got really angry" "that was the day you broke my heart" "if you look into my eyes in this picture you can see that this was the day my heart was shattered into a thousand pieces" "this picture happened right before I wanted to jump off a bridge"

You're gone and I hate it

It's really satisfying to know that you hate me so much while wanting to fuck me so bad again. You hate me even more because you still thirst for my body and think of me when you walk through your room, it drives you insane that you can't forget me.

They say life goes on but since you left I feel like I'm trapped in an endless moment of regret and pain.

I can't find happiness, this is the lowtide of life.

Everything reminds me of you, I remember every word you said.
It kills me to know how your opinion on something would be.

I want to scream and cry, I want to cut my body and write on walls how much I love you, I want you to notice me, I can't live with the fact that you removed me from your life.

Do you still think of me sometimes?

I haven't touched you in so long, how am I supposed to breathe?

I can't hate you. I always think all these bad things about you and I try to remember the bad times, but I still catch myself hearing a motorcycle and hoping you drive careful. I still wish for you to be happy.
It kills me to know that I can't do anything to make you happy anymore.

"I like him, he's nice"
I actually liked him and actually thought he was nice.

You let the girl go who loved all the things you hate about yourself. And everytime you show those things to others, they leave. Because nobody except her will ever love your flaws.

The first day after she commited suicide was almost like every other day in the small town, but she wasn't at school. She was lying lifeless in her mothers arms who at first thought she just didn't want to go to school but broke down in tears when she noticed how her daughter didn't breathe.
Everything was normal, but her friends didn't get any messages from her. She wasn't there to smoke with them. She was lying in an Ambulance where paramedics furiously tried to bring her back to life.
Everything was normal, but she wasn't there to poke her older brother in the back. She was in the hospital where doctors tried to understand what she did while her family sat outside the operating room.
Everything was normal, but she didn't come home with her mother. She would never come home.
The next day, everything was normal, but her friends didn't go to school. They were at home desperately trying to remember everything about her and viewing all of her videos.
Everything was normal, but her school had a one minute's silence to raise awareness to her reasons.
Everything was normal, but her best friend suddenly stood in front of your door. She looked normal, but her eyes were red and full of tears. She handed you a letter and told you who sent it. You thought everything was normal, so you didn't accept it. But when her best friend invited you to her funeral and how you were expected to come, you couldn't believe it. You thought she was making a sick joke. You didn't want it to be true. Because you remembered how she called you two days ago in the evening but you declined her call, you didn't want to hear her voice ever again. You started asking yourself what she wanted to talk about. When you read her letter, you broke down. She wrote the letter minutes after calling you and minutes before killing herself. She wrote that she wanted to beg for your forgiveness because she couldn't live with the fact that you hated her so much.
Everything was normal, but you stopped hating her. For the first time in your life, you have forgiven.

I can't believe that I didn't wore lipstick for so long because you liked me without it

It makes me kinda proud that I could keep you for two months when all these girls fuck you off after one week

I hate that I let you down and I feel so bad about it

On the first date, you let me talk and listened to everything I told you.
On the second date, you told me about yourself and the things you went through.
On the third date you told me about the things you liked.
And on the fourth date, you told me I was the thing you liked most.

You always drank peppermint tea, you liked the smell of peppermint and you liked how the tea would keep you warm and keep the pain in your stomach away.